Thursday, November 30, 2006


Not to write another depressing post - but I guess this is in some ways a follow up from last post.

I love Christmas and I hate it.

And let me start out by saying while I know Christmas is a religious holiday to most, to me it has always been about family and giving to those you care about - not about religion.

I love the idea of Christmas. When you're a little kid Christmas is totally about getting toys and hanging out with your family (who you are probably too young to have any issues with). I remember how hard it was to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. My sister and I would wait anxiously and sneak out of our rooms to talk to each other about what would happen in the morning. We always felt as if we couldn't possibly go to sleep because we were too excited. We'd eagerly wait up hoping to hear a reindeer land on the roof (while not entirely sure if we really believed the whole Santa thing). Eventually, without really remembering how, we'd fall asleep for a few fitful hours and then wake our parents up before the sun was in the sky. Christmas was one of the best things in life.

One of my fondest memories is of a Christmas when we were at my grandparents house. I really wanted this stuffed cat that year - Oliver, from Disney's Oliver and Company. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and going downstairs and seeing that cat underneath the tree. I was so happy. It's sometimes hard to remember the times when something so small could make me so happy. My Dad was down there, I forget why, but I remember I stayed down there with him looking at the tree until I fell asleep.

As I got older, I still enjoyed Christmas, but it was a little bit different. Family still played a big part but somewhere along the way it became more about giving gifts to other people that would make them happy. It became my goal to pas on the feeling of getting that Oliver cat to others. Even now I work really hard at getting people things that will make them smile. In fact, as Christmas became less and less what I remember it being, I try harder and harder to make the people I care about happy on that day. Now, with this being the first Christmas I've ever spent apart from my family, that's beginning to drive me crazy.

I beginning to hate Christmas because no matter how hard I try it seems to make people sad - including me.

I just don't have the resources to make the Christmas I want - it seems like everything is about making ends meet now. It's not even finding gifts for people, I plan that stuff out in advance for the most part, and honestly sometimes it's better to try and DO something for someone rather than try and buy them stuff. But it's still a little depressing to want to be able to buy someone a present you know would really make their day but not be able to because you just can't afford to spend the $20. It's even more depressing to not be able to get a Christmas tree. It's just one of those things that made it feel like Christmas - decorating the tree with your friends and family. Even just waking up Christmas Eve night to drink hot chocolate and stare at the lights on the tree in your living room.

And worst of all is when you're far away from home your family's not there and a majority of your friends are either going home or have their families in the area. So then it seems like all you have left is a house with no festivity, family that you can't see, and stress about how to even afford presents for anyone, much less afford to mail them out.

Don't get me wrong, it's not really as bleak as I make it sound. I have my boyfriend here, he just doesn't have quite the same attachment I have to this holiday. It's just that it's getting harder and harder to keep trying to make Christmas happen.

I guess I'm just wishing for a better world, where Christmas creates joy, not stress, and brings people together. Sometimes life seemed easier when something as simple as a stuffed cat could make me so happy.

I'll just have to find a way to let go of all the old Christmases and learn to build my own Christmas :)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Need A Hero

Grife, if there's anything that's truly wrong with the world today it's the lack of heroism. I have to wonder if there are any real heroes left in a world that seems to determined to tear down and ridicule those who try to really be heroic.

When did we start to live in a world where it's more interesting to see a good person slandered by some stupid "dirt" in their past rather than appreciated for the good that they have since decided to do? What kind of place is our 21st century? A place where there's a five mile pileup on the interstate because everyone has to stop and gawk at the person with a flat tire, but no one pulls over to help them? A place where you hear your neighbor's wife screaming but you don't go over to see if any thing's wrong because it's none of your business? What has humanity to be proud of in this day and age?

Where's the good samaritan, or even the courteous neighbor? I find myself growing more and more depressed seeing daily evidence of our societies degradation. I can only hope that I don't find my comic book morals crumbling under the weight of this world as sometimes it's hard to see what humanity as a whole has to offer.

Where's Superman when you really need him?

I feel as if humanity has not only lost it's way but that as a whole we have stopped looking for a better way. We build a world where the older we get the more life drags at our hearts and souls. We become such heartless creatures and only look back at our childhood with rose colored glasses and mourn for what might have been rather than working towards what could be.

This world needs heroes, without them humanity will continue to be little more than a plague on the planet, parasites with little appreciation of the life around us. If all the good people in the world would take time to be just a bit more heroic in our everyday lives humanity would greatly improve, and maybe, even begin to change.

Just a few late night thoughts... this is what happens when my "weekend" is filled with Cosmic Boy (the mini-series) and Kingdom Hearts...

Monday, November 13, 2006

another update!

Okay, I'm going to try and start working from my new site, so feel free to check it out! It'll be a few month before I 1. work out the kinks and 2. have the site looking the way I want it but feel free to offer sugestions!


Friday, November 10, 2006

theme song

After hearing this today at Spencer's I felt the need to share... This is the old Wonder Woman show theme song.

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world's waiting for you,
and the power you possess.
In your satin tights,
Fighting for your rights
And the old Red, White and Blue.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
Now the world is ready for you,
and the wonders you can do.
Make a hawk a dove,
Stop a war with love,
Make a liar tell the truth.
Wonder Woman,
Get us out from under,
Wonder Woman.
All our hopes are pinned on you.
And the magic that you do.
Stop a bullet cold,
Make the Axis fall,
Change their minds,
and change the world.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.

What disturbs me most is "In your satin tights, fighting for your rights"

I didn't even know she wore satin tights! Gee, shows what I know...

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Just to give anyone who still check out my blog an update...

This past month (or two) has been hectic. Halloween is the busiest time of year for my company so I have been working almost non stop. Between running the Halloween store for two weeks, working at my own store, moving, and attending a wedding out of town I have been swamped. I doubt the holiday season will help things out much either =/ I will, however, continue blogging. I just don't know how soon I'll beable to do it all the time again.

1. I won't be using this blog as much - I will be devoting most of my time to my Legion blog (Superhero Clubhouse) and will use this blog for most of my non-Legion and non-comic related posts. As such expect that most of my writing will be focused of the Legion and comics only. Any political/personal/art/creative writing will remain on this blog.

2. Thanks to my wonderful father I should have a scanner in a few months. Yay!

3. While my new site is under construction I'll be posting on the Matchstick and will announce when I tranfer over :)

4. Notice, my sn is now Brainiac6 in honor of my new blog.

Thanks for your time!

Gwen aka Cshiana aka Brainiac6