Thursday, June 29, 2006

Substitute Heroes

First appearing in Adventure Comics #306, the Legion of Substitute Heroes is almost as awesome as the Legion of Super-Pets. The Subs was founded by Legion rejects and the original team had six members.

Polar Boy, or Brek Bannin, had cold based powers. Honestly, I'm not sure why the Legion rejected him as the only objection seemed to be that the Legion was worried he'd freeze one of them on accident. He was later accepted when he had better learned to control his powers (or some other lame excuse to make up for the fact he wasn't accepted earlier) but until then he led the Subs.



Night Girl (aka Lydda Jath) wanted to join the Legion because she had the hots for Cosmic Boy. She was rejected because her super strength (given to her by her father who obviously supported his daughter wanting to join a team of super heroes for some crush) didn't work in direct sunlight. She joined the subs to be a Cosmic Boy groupie. She later married Cos proving that even stalkers can live happily ever after.



Stone Boy (Dag Wentim) had the awesome power of turning into stone. This may have been useful if he could move when in stone form. However, he made a great weight for Night Girl to use for lifting!



Fire Lad (Stag Mavlin) could breath fire... but often had accidents as he sneezed fire as well. He was deemed to dangerous to join the Legion. He aquired powers from inhaling meteor fumes - no, really!



Chlorophyll Kid (Ral Benem) could make plants grow really fast. He carried seeds around with him to make his power more useful.



Color Kid (Ulu Vakk) could make things different colors. He'd have made a fantastic designer but instead went off to join the Legion of Superheroes. The Legion told him to take a hike ("That's an unusual power, but not great enough for the Legion!") and he ended up with the subs. I think Brainy was snickering the entire time the poor kid was trying out.



Basically the subs were founded because getting rejected from the Legion created some self-esteem issues in the rejectees. So the subs vowed to use their powers to "pinch-hit" for the Legion.



Now, the best is yet to come as I introduced the subs for a reason... tomorrow: the Legion of Substitute Heroes vs the Legion of Super Pets in a battle royale! Or, dare I call it, the ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY!

7 Comments:

Anonymous Jim said...

Very cool and loved the link also.

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Brainiac6 said...

Yeah, the USoUD is pretty funny - Corey even has it on his Ipod! I don't think Jeff likes my humorous posts =/ He hasn't commented since the movie debate :(

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Jim said...

I love the funny posts and I also thought the Legion of Substitue Heroes was funny because they were so lame, but still wanted to be heroes. Polar Boy did make the team eventually.

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Cshiana, you should pitch a story idea for the return of the Substitute Heroes. These guys would be a breath of fresh air in today's comic climate of darkness and seriousness. I doubt even Meltzer could turn the Subs into grim and gritty avengers.

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Here's a question: what's the lamest power you've ever heard of given to an existing character? It's pretty hard to beat Stone Boy. Peter David created a mutant for his old X-factor series I believe whose power was the ability to turn the color pink at will. What a useless power! There's lots of guys with scary powers out there too. I tell ya, I'd take an all day beatdown from the Punisher before I'd wanna face Bueno Excellante.

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Anonymous Jim said...

I think Stone Boy wins hands down.

Friday, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Brainiac6 said...

Actually I still think Jubilee has one of the most useless powers ever... or it could be that I just hate Jubilee. Hmm. And I don't know Jim, I think Color Kid is more useless than Stone Boy. There's also Green Boy who's only power was turning things green. The lamest power is still "The Mess" who's power was attracting dirt. If you check out the list of Legion rejectees you can find some awful "powers"

Friday, June 30, 2006  

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